Monday, January 17, 2011

THACKER; AKA BLACK SNAKE

I was one of those kids who spent his days in the woods turning over logs to catch, examine and release whatever was under them. I learned snakes were divided between pit vipers and sight strikers. Pit vipers sensing warm blooded prey and sight strikers being pretty self explanitory. A neighbor had a profound observation about "crazy lady". Whenever she slithers out of her landfill of a home, the first neighbor she sees becomes the stalker du jour. You're simply engaged in one of life's mundane tasks (raking leaves, getting the mail, walking the dog) and the next thing you know she sight strikes like our most common urban snake. But the similarity ends there. Whereas the black racer provides a valuable service in keeping us from being up to our butts in rodents, Thacker just spews shit while collecting a disability check. Now if they gave those checks for being fat, ugly and disgusting she would surely qualify for one that would allow her to take up residence in a much nicer neighborhood, but in her case the check is for being...duh...craaaaaaaaaaaazy.